We are control freaks. At least most of us are.
In a time where social media consume plenty of our everyday lives, the time where we control how other people view us through a screen, a phone, the things we choose to post online, to say in public and the persona we constantly try to project, there are some things that no matter how much we try, we cannot control.
And that’s ok.
While this phenomenon is becoming more and more common today, undeniably it is not a new one.
People have been trying to control everything around them dating back to the creation of the first civilizations. It is in our nature to try as hard as possible to control our external and internal circumstances in order to survive and live as good as possible. Many times this is the root of our problems.
Often we are blinded by our belief that everything can and should be controlled. It is at that time when we fail to realize that some things cannot and should never be controlled. They should be left free in order to execute their purpose and teach you a lesson.
While there are conditions which we are able to control, like our personal style, our body weight and self-image, our knowledge and the people we choose to have around us, there are some which we have absolutely no mastery over.
A few of the most common things that people frantically try to control are:
- People’s opinions
- Their behavior around other people
- Past and future Events
- The idea of somebody we care about getting hurt
While this is all normal it depletes you of authenticity and your self’s true expression. It holds you back and trying to control the uncontrollable is putting an enormous burden on you, and through your actions, to the people around you.
”The things you try to maniacally control end up controlling you”
The Benefit Of Freeing Yourself
So why is it important to learn to let go of things and circumstances that we have no power over?
Simply put, to become better and fully realize ourselves.
A good example is in the way we try to control our breathing. Based on our breath we will have very different character reactions. If we breathe slowly we will become calm, relaxed and grounded. In contrast, if we breathe heavily we will be in a state of intensity and precariousness. Like in heavy breathing, trying to control everything puts us in a state of panic.
In order to explain the statement made above I will choose to outline the benefits that anybody can acquire by letting go of things they can’t control:
- Less Stress: When we finally let ourselves free from managing everything around us and solely focus on the things we can truly control then we feel a lot calmer, we are relaxed releasing our bodies and minds from excess anxiety and stress.
- Clarity Of Mind: Becoming less stressful will help us think clearer and make better choices. We discover how to remove ourselves from situations or remove the emotional side from a circumstance. As so we are now able to decide with better clarity and conclude into solutions that we couldn’t before.
- Improved Perspective: With clarity comes an improved, creative perspective. You benefit from distancing yourself from overcontrolling things and you are capable of searching and finding different perspectives in a situation. All of the sudden you find yourself with more choices making it easy to pick the best one for your case (i.e business endeavor, financial move)
- Understanding what really matters and realizing that some things are not meant for you: Letting go of the things that you can’t control will slowly tell you what really matters and what isn’t worth your time. Most of the times only after removing ourselves from an occasion completely (physically and emotionally) we are able to make the best decisions. Like in a relationship of any kind, if you can let things unfold while allowing them off your control you can make a clear choice based on what’s best for you and the situation in hand.
- You Mature and Grow Wiser: In direct correlation with the above, letting go of the things you can control is immediately a sign of maturity and wisdom. Every great leader, parent, lover, businessman and so forth knows when something can be controlled and when something is totally out of his reach.
One of the many rules of diplomacy is trying to control what you can, create the best circumstance for you while letting fractious situations take their turn.
Closing the article I would like to invite you, the reader to understand this:
Life is like a river. We as human beings are thrown into the river and given the ability to swim. The direction is totally up to us. We can swim with the river or against the river. It is always best to seize the moment and try to make the best out of it. Realize that some conditions cannot be changed. It’s ok. Learn how to make the best out of them. This applies to anything in life be it personal matters, matters about your family, your finances, your relationships, and generally everything you do. It is a sign of power and sanity knowing what we can and cannot control. Remember to take action towards the things that by their change can help you become better while at the same time learning to let go of the things that are of no aid for you.