Ahh friends… The family we choose. It’s not an exaggeration to say that countless articles and books have been written on the subject and many films have been made. Why are friends so important after all? I’m not going to write anything new on the matter, rather I’ll lay my personal experience and what I find most important and cherish in a friendship.
A (true) friend is always there.
Family is there for you, sure. But, especially after a point in life, parents can do so much. Brothers and sisters can be a different animal altogether but they’re still family first and foremost. Apart from them who else is always there? Friends of course. I have gone through many difficult times in my life and looking back at them I can always see how certain people were there and offered as much as they could. That’s precious. We all need to be strong by ourselves but no man’s an island. We do need other people. And the best people to be around (especially during harsh times) are friends.
It’s not an exclusive relationship. You can have as many as you like.
I have many acquaintances and people I interact and hang out with in different occasions like the workplace, the university etc. But by choice, I don’t have many people I consider friends because I expect many things from my friends and I give many in return. The ones I do call friends though, truly match my definition of one. But the greatest thing about it is that I don’t need to have only one of them. I don’t have to choose. I can have as many as I want and nobody can say anything about it. That’s not the case in a romantic relationship. That depends on the kind of romantic relationship though…I’m not advocating polygamy here, I’m just pointing that the parameters of each kind of relationship are different. By having different friends you can take from each one different thing which is great for your character-building process.
Good friendships are built with resilient materials.
Friendship is not a romantic relationship, therefore it is not based on passion which is a feeling that fades and most of the times leads to a break up if it’s not transformed into love, companionship etc . Good friendships are based on things that are stable and don’t fade away easily. Common interests, love, many shared experiences in the past and in the present, common paths in life and many others. Those make for some great materials to build a long-lasting relationship.
It still needs work though. You can’t expect any kind of relationship to work magically on its own. You have to invest time, resources and have the will to keep it going.
A good friend brings out the best in you.
Quiet often I find myself to be troubled, lost or disoriented. I also lose hope or see thing a little darker. That happens to everyone sometimes. What’s great is that I can always call my best friend, a man with whom I can share anything and that I have many common character traits and goals. I can always count on him to remind me of what I hope to achieve, who I am and also remind me that success and happiness are mine for the taking. I can’t tell you how many times I found the strength to move forward and become a better man just by interacting with my friends. Good friends make you aspire to become a better man. If someone wants you to stay still then that person is not your friend.
Those are the some of the things I find important and great in friendships. Remember that a good friend is a part of you and a person you can always count on. Be very selective about the people you chose as your friends because they can make you or break you.